Who encourages the Encourager?


This is in no way a fluff piece or a means to toot my horn.

A long time ago I was in church and my pastor came up to the pulpit and asked the question: Who

encourages the Encourager?

It’s one of those messages that has stuck with me, not because of its great impact, but because it’s

become a remembrance, that the encourager needs to be encouraged as well.

I don’t know how I get myself into the encourager roles, even in my gritted teeth defiance and

attempt to be selfish and not care for anyone- yup I get those days too- Somehow I find myself

putting others’ needs and emotions above mine.

You cry when they cry, you laugh when they laugh, you live their pain as your own, but who cries

when you cry, who picks you up when you, the encourager needs to be encouraged.

Who’s the encourager?

My definition of the encourager is someone who’s walked a narrow, dark path, of pain and known

such depth of loneliness and through it, found a well within themselves to rise out and encourage

themselves. This person, having walked this pained path alone, and maybe even faced moments of

surrender- dark thoughts to even take their own life- but wakes up and realizes that they aren’t

alone and then plays a game of substitute. This person decides that ironing out the creases in the

lives of others, will maybe ‘un-crease’ theirs.

It’s a dark place- the place an encourager emerges from, and most times, emerging alone and for

that reason (speaking about myself here) doesn’t open up and rely on the encouraging of others,

doesn’t open up to weaknesses, fears uncertainties, because the depth from which they have arisen-

they fear their friends and encouraged persons would never understand.

I have come to learn this is often is not true- very recently, I came toe to toe with a friend,

encourager like myself, who in all the turbulence that my emotions often are, stood straight faced,

middle of raging storm declared – “I’m not going anywhere!’ I’ll be here and I’ll be YOUR FRIEND


Being Bola discovery, I have a lot of hidden emotions and when people shake me up, I retreat and

sometimes cower, I avoid confrontations with deep emotional results.

I have emotions that I have supressed and in the heat of the moment- I have no planned prepared

way of reacting to them- often my brain just shuts down!

Till Next week!

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